Whether it's a wordplay, a funny thought of the day observation about everyday life, or an old witty saying, comedy has a way of making us realize we're all going through the same things in this crazy life. These amusing work, love, friendship, family, and thought-of-the-day quotes will have you saying, (So true!) because, well, they are. Others will have you recalling amusing, meme-worthy movie and television moments.
Take a break from your day to read these better funny quotes from stand-up comedy, books, plays, celebrity Twitter and interviews, movies, and TV shows that are sure to make your brain laugh.
funny-thought-of-the-day-quotes
Funny Thought of the Day
- There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth getting out of bed to see it. - Mindy Kaling's.
- Life is brief. Drive quickly, and leave a sexy corpse behind. That's one of my catchphrases. - Stanley Hudson.
- I always use wine when I cook. I sometimes put it in my food. - William C. Fields.
- People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, can have a key made. -Joan Rivers.
- Do not take life too seriously. dod you know You will never get out of it alive. - Elbert Hubbard.
- I generally avoid temptation unless. I can't resist it. - Mae West.
- I'm tired of chasing my dreams, man. I'll just ask where they're going, and catch up with them later. - Mr. Mitch Hedberg.
- Gentlemen, you are not permitted to fight in this room. This is the battleground. Dr. (Peter Sellers)
- My mother always used to say, unless you're a banana, the older you get, the better you get. The Golden Girls' Rose (Betty White)
- The world is a stage, but the actors are miscast. - Oscar Wilde's
- Housework won't kill you, but why risk it? - Diller, Phyllis.
- Every great man has a woman rolling her eyes behind him. - Jim Carrey's.
- I used to jog, but the ice cubes in my glass kept falling out. - David Lee Roth's.
- How come it's called rush hour when nothing moves? - Robin Williams
- Halloween marks the start of the holiday shopping season. That is reserved for females.
- Christmas Eve marks the start of the holiday shopping season for men. - Letterman, David
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and wearing their shoes. - James Handey
- Clothes shape a man. Naked people have little or no societal influence. - Twain, Mark
- Unless you're a cheese, age doesn't really matter. - Luis Bunuel's.
- I haven't talked to my wife in years. I didn't want to bother her. - Rodney Dangerfield.
- Laziness is simply the habit of resting before you get tired. - Jules Renard's
- Before you marry someone, make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.- Will Ferrell's
- I enjoy being married. It's fantastic to find that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner's
- I'd love to stand here and talk with you, Ned, but I'm not going to. (Bill Murray)
- When your mother asks, 'Do you want some advice?' it's just a formality.
- It makes no difference whether you answer yes or no. You're going to get it regardless. - Erma Bombeck's.
- I enjoy being married. buts It's fantastic to find that one person you want to annoy for, the rest of your life. Rita Rudner's
- Don't brag about yourself; it will be taken care of when leave." - Wilson Mizner's
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